No one enters into a marriage expecting a divorce. But as with any relationship, there are highs and lows. You may be feeling a growing discontent in your marriage – and the idea of divorce is increasingly on your mind.
However, many of the causes of a relationship breakdown are rooted in individual choices that – once identified as destructive – have the opportunity to be changed. Here are three habits that often lead to turmoil in a marriage:
Consistent sleep deprivation
Being in a loving, harmonious relationship doesn’t automatically mean that you and your spouse will sleep well together. If one of you snores, or if your ideal sleeping conditions differ, it could lead to one partner regularly suffering from poor or interrupted sleep. Over time, this can wear on the person – affecting their mood and decision-making abilities.
Opting to sleep in different rooms – a concept known as a sleep divorce – may be a good option to turn things around.
Out-of-sync work schedules
If you work the graveyard shift while your partner has to be up at dawn for work, you likely struggle to find quality time to spend together – when one of you isn’t busy or exhausted. This can quickly lead to feelings of disconnect in the relationship.
Talking to your partner about the issue and looking for ways to resolve it is key. Maybe that means looking for a new job – and scheduling regular dates or excursions with your partner in the meantime – to retain your connection and commitment to each other.
Diversion of priorities and interests
When you first met your spouse, maybe you both enjoyed partying and drinking, or pigging out of junk food together. But that may have changed as you got older. Now, perhaps one of you has adopted a more active, health-conscious lifestyle, while the other hasn’t followed suit. This can lead to feelings of isolation from your spouse – as though you are no longer compatible.
While you don’t have to have identical interests as your spouse, it’s important to communicate about what activities are especially important to each of you to participate in. Having your spouse agree to go for a jog with you – simply because they know it’s important to you – can be a game changer for happiness in the relationship.
Relationships are about growing together. When it feels like you and your partner are moving in different directions, it can be extremely helpful to examine the habits that are drawing you apart, communicate about them – and each take steps to support the other’s needs.