Divorce is often a difficult time for couples and families, but it does not have to be a courtroom war. While many divorces end up that way, it is neither necessary nor a necessary part of the divorce process, and it is possible to have a civil divorce that leads to a much more amicable resolution.
Benefits of a civil divorce
Getting along with the other side during a divorce has its benefits.
- It is much less stressful, and stress can harm the body and mind
- It is more cost-effective and can lead to saving money
- It is better for the children if the couple has kids
- It can speed up the divorce process if the couple is ready to settle
How to have a civil divorce
You may wonder how a civil divorce is possible. After all, you are divorcing this person for a reason, right?
Believe it or not, it does not have to turn adversarial. You can do a lot to set the tone for how the divorce proceeds by using your actions and words wisely. Of course, it does not work in every case because some people want to fight, but in many cases, people respond well to someone when they see them acting in good faith and respectfully.
Communicate respectfully
Open and honest communication is crucial, as that helps the other party understand what you want to get out of the divorce. However, communicating respectfully is equally, if not more important, because how you communicate can influence the outcome of a conversation. If a person feels respected and validated, they are more likely to work with you and cooperate.
Think of what you have in common
Even though you are getting a divorce because you presumably have significant differences, there are always things that divorcing couples have in common. For example, any divorcing couple who has children has kids in common. They also, most likely, have the desire for the health and happiness of their children in common as well. Use that to focus the conversation on what you agree on.
Consider mediation
Mediation is a highly effective way of solving disputes and is instrumental in divorce. Some couples commit to settling their entire divorce in mediation. You can also have your attorneys settle your case in mediation. The best part about this way of solving conflict is that you get to make the decisions, instead of the court making them for you, if you end up going to trial.
Think of how you are perceived
This difficult time can be the perfect opportunity to act in healthy ways, which will likely benefit you in the divorce and help develop conflict resolution skills. You can act in healthy ways by:
- Setting healthy boundaries and communicating them respectfully
- Not allowing your emotions to run the show during the divorce
- Not using negative language or speaking ill of your spouse
- Being open to compromise and negotiation with your spouse
All of these behaviors are healthy conflict resolution strategies that work, and even though divorce is a challenging time and often filled with emotion, you can keep your feelings under control.
While divorce is a significant life change that most people fear will turn into a war, it does not have to be like that. Even though, in some cases, it is inevitable because you cannot control how other people behave or what they think and say, you can set the tone early on by acting in a mature, civil way, which ultimately benefits everyone involved.
