A high-conflict divorce can drain you financially, emotionally, and legally. So what can you do if your divorce appears to be high-conflict? Our attorneys at Lutz & Associates, P.S., are here to help you understand what to avoid that may give you a stronger position in court.
Control How You Communicate
When it comes to being proactive during a high-conflict divorce, every message you send could become evidence. Shift all communication to email or a court-approved app. Tools like OurFamilyWizard and TalkingParents log conversations automatically. That record can support your case if your spouse misrepresents what was said.
Keep your responses brief, factual, and polite. Do not retaliate, even when provoked. Washington judges notice tone and conduct. Hostile messages from you could undermine your credibility when it matters most.
Know Your Rights Under Washington Custody Law
Under RCW 26.09.187, courts can award sole decision-making authority to one parent. This may apply if both parents cannot cooperate on major decisions involving medical care or education. A history of domestic violence can also lead the court to waive mandatory mediation entirely.
Washington courts base every custody decision on the best interests of the child. Judges look at each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent. When protecting yourself during a high-conflict divorce, documenting incidents of conflict, threats or parenting plan violations builds a factual record for the court to review.
What Incidents Can You Document to Protect Your Finances?
Documentation is one of your most practical tools in a high-conflict case. What you should keep records of includes:
- Threatening messages: Save screenshots with timestamps from texts and emails
- Parenting plan violations: Log dates, times and what was missed or ignored
- Financial irregularities: Note any unusual withdrawals or transfers you did not authorize
Courts rely on evidence. A well-organized record strengthens your position at every stage of the proceedings.
Open your own bank accounts early. High-conflict divorce cases often involve disputes over hidden or misused assets. Formal discovery tools can help uncover funds your spouse may not have disclosed.
Speak With a Family Law Attorney About What to Do If You Are Facing a High-Conflict Divorce
High-conflict divorces in Washington involve complex procedural rules. An experienced attorney can help you request temporary orders for parenting time and financial support. Speaking with an attorney may also clarify how Washington’s custody and property division rules apply to your specific situation.