The holidays are stressful for many people. For those recently divorced, they can be the source of significant strife and bad feelings. However, this doesn’t have to be the case for you. It’s possible to deal with emotions and enjoy the holiday season on your own terms. Psychology Today offers the following guidance on how to deal with the holidays after a recent divorce.

Let go of the past

Are you plagued with thoughts of what could have been? Do you constantly run through scenarios in your mind about your former relationship and how you could have done things differently? If you answer yes to these questions, it’s time to let go of the past. Mulling over what happened offers no benefits. It’s not possible for you to go back and to change what occurred. It’s also not healthy to constantly dwell on what you did wrong, whether real or perceived.

Spend time with friends & family

Your loved ones can provide support when you need. For example, if you’re feeling lonely while your kids are visiting with your former spouse, call up a friend or family member and arrange an outing to get your mind off things. You may also want to alter your social circle a bit during this time. If spending time with coupled loved ones makes you feel inadequate or calls up bad memories, seek out single friends who can relate to your feelings.

Be realistic

It can also be easy to fall into the trap of being envious or jealous of what other couples’ have this time of year. Keep in mind that few people make their relationship woes known far and wide, so that couple you’re idealizing could be on the brink of divorce themselves. Maintain a realistic perspective on love and relationships and don’t indulge in jealousy. It will only make you feel worse in the end.