All marriages are different, which is often why it is difficult to generalize about the quality of a relationship and whether someone should file for divorce.
Whether to file for divorce or not is a very personal decision. However, if you are wondering whether certain behaviors in your marriage are either mistreatment or abuse and want to understand the subtle differences between the two, keep reading.
Conflict
Conflicts and disagreements are typical in marriages. However, how people respond to conflict and disagreement is critical.
Imagine a couple having an ongoing conflict over finances. One spouse is a spender and the other, a saver. After many years, they reach a point where their frustration becomes anger, and a fight breaks out.
In situations like this one, you may want to observe the conduct of the individuals.
- Is it the intent of the parties to talk about the problem?
- Is it the intent of the parties to say nasty things to each other?
- Does one person try to hurt the other physically or emotionally?
- Does any one of the parties try to intimidate the other?
Mistreatment can manifest as disrespectful conduct, and while it may be hurtful and heartbreaking to be on the receiving end of mistreatment, it is essential to differentiate it from abuse.
Abuse
Abuse involves a pattern of behaviors intended to control another person, intimidate them or hurt them, either physically, emotionally, psychologically or financially. For example:
- Hitting, slapping, or other physical harm
- Constant criticism, manipulation, gaslighting or threats
- Attempts to isolate the victim from family and friends
- Controlling all the money and withholding funds from the other partner
Recognizing these signs is vital, not only because abuse is wrong, but also because it can often escalate, and in some cases, it can result in regrettable consequences, including severe injury or death.
What to do
If you experience abuse and want to exit the relationship, it is critical to take your feelings seriously and consult with a family law attorney about your options. Not only will an attorney be able to counsel you, but they will also advise you on what to do if you find yourself in a precarious, abusive situation.
You should know that you are not alone. There are resources available for people just like you, and abuse happens in all sectors of society. It is essential to put your safety and the safety of your children first and do whatever you can to find stability and protection for your family.
